Art projects I would do if I were not a music writer:
1. (Huffa knows about this one since Bard and even proposed doing it himself once and unfortunately I hemmed and hawed. Huffa - maybe do you still want to do this one?)
I collect cereal boxes featuring off-brand mascots - Lupe the Parrot, Fofo the grizzly bear, etc - draw portraits of them, display these portraits next to the originals.
2. (Huffa knows about this and says that if I were Olafur Eliasson I could maybe pull it off)
Turn the Guggenheim into a giant waterslide one summer, because that way New Yorkers who can not/do not want to drive all the way to Six Flags or Dorney Park can just pay $12 admission and go here. Ideally some of the water splashes on Richard Prince car hoods, too.
3.
A lifelike wax model of a museum security guard, in the corner of a gallery, in security guard uniform of course, and his/her face has been smudged and distorted and slightly melted by much touching - fingerprints smear his/her cheeks, warp his facial structure, distort his gaze etc.
CHIRPDATE: A helpful commenter points me towards
this which in turn pointed me towards
this. I shouldn't be surprised, and I'm not. This does make the idea a bit less groundbreaking but I think the face tugged and melted by fingerprints still constitutes reason enough to do it, and pushes the argument into a different place. Maybe in fact spectators would be encouraged to touch dude or dudette's face while they passed, although in no time the head would collapse...I will puzzle it out in between charticles!
