'08 BESTACULAR GETS HOLY ROMAN ON DAT AZZ

Best things about the Hercules & Love Affair Album

1. The fantastic horn charts on "Hercules' Theme."
2. Hercules' Theme
3. The heavy mist of Nick Sylvester lurve surrounding it, even if his decades-old post (the age of which proves that he needs Spiderfang to survive but don't worry Nick there is a new song called "MOAR MONEY" coming soon) was actually not so much about lurve as about getting back in touch with old college pen pals, far as I can remember (it was a long time ago he posted it).
4. The opposite of the singers, because the singers are really poor. (Leaving aside Antony who is not a poor singer but a polarizing one, and I am perched atop the he-is-a-hard-to-bear-overactor pole).
5. Andy Butler as producer rather than lyricist, because his lyrics are laughably bad, and it makes you wonder how lurve can flow so unimpeded by the words on "Iris" and "This Is My Love."
6. The cover.
7. The overwhelming gayness.

'08 BESTACULAR LOADS UP THE AK

Retards

1. Anyone who thought that A.K. thinks Ice Cube was created in a secret CIA laboratory and that Ronald Reagan was his ghostwriter.

2. That dude who almost crushed me between his minivan and another minivan and got aggravated when I was all, "DUDE!"

'08 BESTACULAR ON ITS A-GAME

Evolving multi-genre trend

1.
2005 Young Jeezy: "Aaaaay";
2006 Juelz Santana: "A!";
2007 Rihanna "Ay, Ay, Ay";
2008 Vampire Weekend, "A!A!A!A!" (And I don't have the Dipset connection confirmed but I know Ezra has set foot in Santana's Town so let's be real the dude is totally quoting Young Floss Flossy).

'08 BESTACULAR CONTINUES

Sentences I wish I rapped

1. "Young Floss Flossy, Young Flash Flashy, Santana aka Young Splash Splashy" - Juelz Santana

Sentences I wish I wrote

1. "The colonel's face rose before him like a diseased moon" - Denis Johnson

//EDIT: after someone was like 'this sentence ain't that great' I feel I should add that in context it described a big beefy dude talking some bullshit in the middle of a long night of drinking, so it communicates drunkface/nighttime in context. Also it is tough to follow Young Floss Flossy in any context, even if you're Denis Johnson.//

'08 BESTACULAR

Albums

1. Death Cab for Cutie "Narrow Stairs"
2. Hot Chip "Made in the Dark"
3. Lil Wayne "Tha Carter III"

Songs

1. Lil Wayne "A Milli"
2. Death Cab for Cutie "Cath..."
3. Hot Chip "One Pure Thought"
4. Ciara feat. Ludacris "High Priced"
5. Usher "Moving Mountains"

Books

1. Denis Johnson "Tree of Smoke"

Movies

1. Pineapple Express




New Yorker Articles

1. Philip Gourevitch & Errol Morris, "Exposure" - Abu Ghraib
2. David Grann, "True Crime" - murder-imitates-art
3. Dan Chiasson, "Fast Company" - gorgeous Frank O'Hara appreciation

Opening Line of a Slate article

1. Troy Patterson, in a piece on the decline of TV political satire, "Gore Vidal once said that you should never pass up an opportunity to have sex or go on television, but that was before AIDS. And cable."